


i want to stop missing what others dont know.

by benziplavi



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Bittersweet, Byakuya and Leon wouldve gotten along great once they got over themselves i KNOW it, Gen, Memory Loss, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:49:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29843154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benziplavi/pseuds/benziplavi
Summary: In a world where Leon only survives his execution by the skin of his teeth and escapes with the rest of the survivors, Byakuya finds himself wishingeveryone'smemories would return.
Relationships: Kuwata Leon/Togami Byakuya
Kudos: 15





	i want to stop missing what others dont know.

_How strange it is that time can change a person completely, yet also keep them exactly the same,_ Byakuya thought. _Or maybe Leon’s just a special case._

Leon's spiky hair is now a little less obnoxious and is significantly darker now that he hasn't been dying it at all. It’s naturally brown, and since hair dye is hard to come by nowadays, there isn’t a trace of red to be seen anywhere _**(** which leads to the question of why he decided to dye **everything** , but Byakuya would rather not open that can of worms **)**._ He claims it looks **“** super fuckin' lame **”** when it isn't so unusually bright, but he puts up with the color, albeit pretty unhappily. 

In the back of Byakuya’s mind, from the regained bits and pieces in his memory, there's another situation just like this one, from way back before the Killing Game. Whatever Leon’s trying to tell him at the moment eventually becomes nothing more than simple noises as the memory plays out fresh in his head. 

**......**

_**“** It doesn't even look bad. For once, it looks surprisingly well-kept, **”** is Byakuya's reply as Leon whines at his reflection in a mirror, then drops his head into his hands. It's a reaction that, quite frankly, Byakuya doesn't understand. The tame umber color was far easier to look at compared to the vibrant red, but as usual, Leon isn't asking for an opinion. He's asking for more **hair dye.**_

__

__

_**“** I **know** what it looks like, Kuya, **”** Leon begins, voice slightly muffled from how he's basically talking into his hands. When he finally turns, Byakuya can see just how much the color has faded, even from where he sits across the room. **“** But I'm not mad about how it looks, I'm mad that it isn't completely **red. ”** He then turns back to the mirror, resuming his hushed complaints about his hair. Byakuya thinks he's being incredibly overdramatic, and he sighs at his reaction. _

__

__

_**“** Are you sure you’re not just looking for excuses to see that woman at the hair salon? **”** It's unsettling when Leon gets uncharacteristically quiet. At first, Byakuya thinks it's because he's being dramatic again, but from the irritated expression he can see in the reflection of the mirror, he can tell there's more to the silence. **“** What is it? **”** he presses. Leon huffs in response, leaning back in his chair. The movement sends the chair onto its back legs for a brief moment before lightly thudding back onto all fours._

_**“** Her name’s **Kaori** , first of all. I told you that before. **”** That’s true, he did, Byakuya just never bothered to commit it to memory. He chose not to reply to that and let Leon continue instead. **“** And I’m not looking for reasons to see her ‘cause honestly, I don't **wanna** go see her. **”**_

_**That’s** _ _what catches Byakuya off guard. **“** Why not? You always spoke so fondly of her, what changed? **”**_

**_“_ ** _Her new boyfriend was there last time and the dude looked like a major asshole, so I’m staying away from both of them. Obviously. But it's not, like, a jealousy thing or whatever. **”**_

_Something isn't adding up. That excuse may work with Hina or Hiro, but Byakuya isn't so easily fooled, partially because he's one of the few who actually know the truth about Leon. Hell, he may be the ONLY person Leon’s outright told. Of course, he knows why Leon told **him** of all people. His romantic feelings had built up for too long, and it all flooded out that night they were alone. The truth of his sexuality came first, the crush confession came second. Byakuya was quick to shut his advances down, though, and it hasn’t been brought up since, likely for Leon to avoid any further possible humiliation._

**_“_ ** _You don't even like women, **”** Byakuya states, noting how Leon visibly tenses. The topic still makes him uncomfortable, so he doesn’t linger long. **“** So why is her new partner bothersome if you aren't **jealous? ”**_

_Leon doesn't need to say anything for it to start falling into place. He changed up his whole look just for a girl he was never romantically interested in anyway. He grew out his hair, got piercings, he even started learning how to play the guitar, all because the girl at the hair salon only dated musicians. On multiple different occasions, Byakuya would stay awake well into the night and hear him strum on that guitar from his place in the dining hall. He never stated **why** he chose the dining hall of all places, but Byakuya had his assumptions. Leon was a remarkably private person, one who often wore a few masks to cover his emotions. Around close friends, those masks would fade, but in big crowds of people? Those masks were slapped on and built up with layer after layer of emotional cement. It doubled as a quiet place to relax when he couldn’t sleep, and it was surprisingly strategic on his part. People often went to the dining hall first thing in the morning for breakfast, so when the first few students stepped through the doorway, Leon knew when to start wearing his masks and how many walls he should put up that day._

_Except after his last visit to the hair salon, everyone in the class noticed how he hadn't even touched his guitar once he came back. Now, it’s all making more sense._

_Leon may be seen as a player, but even he isn't enough of an asshole to try and break up a relationship, **especially** when he isn’t seriously interested. Understandably, he would back off. But if he can't even try to ask her out, then practicing his music to impress her isn't going to amount to anything good._ _The whole reason he could say he was striving towards being a musician was because of her, but now that she's not an option anymore, he probably doesn't see the point in trying. It's almost pitiful to watch him bounce from one possible interest to the next, but not surprising in the slightest. He bases a lot of his self worth on how much people like him. And since people happen to like musicians, that's what he decided to chase after until that choice was taken from him._

_He doesn't give an actual answer, probably because he knows he doesn't need to. He's aware of Byakuya's intelligence and analytical skills, so there's no need to vocalize what he already knows._

_**“** Doesn't matter anyway, 'cause that's not the point, **”** he deflects, clasping his fingers together behind his neck. **“** We were talkin' about how my hair's pissing me off, remember? **”**_

**......**

It's when Leon waves his hand in front of Byakuya's face that he snaps out of the memory. He looks like he's been trying to get his attention for awhile. 

**“** Hellooo? Earth to Byakuya? **”** _Byakuya…_ That's how Leon addresses him now. Not as **“** Kuya **”** or any other annoying nickname he came up with. Just his first name. Everything about Leon, from the way he doesn’t use affectionate nicknames to the confused look on his face when any of the survivors act so friendly towards him just makes things **worse.**

Everyone's memories started returning bit by minuscule bit after they escaped the academy. Sometimes **_“_** _remember when? **”**_ stories would be exchanged, and while not all of them were detailed nor did everyone truly remember everything, they were still _there,_ and that was the important thing. It didn't matter that a lot of details were mostly blurry or in tiny fragments. _Leon's memories,_ though? His memories haven't returned, not even the smaller ones. As far as he's concerned, he met everyone for the first time during the Killing Game, because that's all he remembers of any of them. No one wants to bring it up, but they all have an idea of what's keeping those memories locked away. Dozens of baseballs to the head is enough to mess up anyone's ability to remember things, after all. It's a miracle he's even **alive,** because he logically _shouldn't_ be. It was accepted that not all his physical injuries would even heal, so hoping for a full _mental_ recovery was pointless. 

But everyone prefers a happy friend over one that feels left out, so when they're around him, they keep quiet about the memories they’ve recovered. 

Byakuya blinks once, twice, then raises his gaze to meet Leon’s. One glance is all it takes to see he's lost that fire in his eyes. What's left is a struggling flame, an ember that's trying desperately to find something flammable to bring itself back to its former glory. **“** Right, ” he says, dragging himself from his daze. **“** What were you saying? **”**

At the reply, Leon huffs and points to his hair with an exasperated expression. Despite how annoyed he seems, Byakuya can tell he doesn't really mean to come off so aggravated. It's another wall he likes to build, one called _act aggressive so people keep their emotional distance,_ and it hasn't worked on any of the survivors so far. 

**“** We were talkin' about how my hair's pissing me off, remember? **”**

Byakuya nods, subtle twitch of his lips indicating that he's holding back a knowing grin. **“** Of course. If you _absolutely must,_ “ he says, tone laced with mock annoyance. “ Then go ahead. Start again. **”**

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey!!! this is far from my first time writing either of these characters, but the first time i'm posting something in this fandom!! i unfortunately have many feelings about them, so after this, expect a LOT of other drabbles of mostly Leon and Byakuya <3


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